Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
