The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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