I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
