Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
