i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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