Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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