There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
