the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
