btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
