C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
