and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i want to swaddle you in tequila
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
