i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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