Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
