ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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