he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
