Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My bed smells like the plague
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
