Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Define "chronic" masturbator.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize