you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
