can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
