my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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