Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
