Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
