I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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