why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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