OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
