yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
