Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
