Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
