As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize