Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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