Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Don't EVER smell your tampon
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
