He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
