Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
