very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
