But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
