Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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