I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My hand turned me down
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
