Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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