You smell like stripper and shame
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
