Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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