Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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