so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
