We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
sarcasm needs its own font
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
