Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
