How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
