im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
