too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
