i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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