sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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