i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
