I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
