I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
