You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
