??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize