Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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