Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
