he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I faked an abortion last night.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
