Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
