My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize